This is Serena Scott and I after winning our individual sprinting and long jump events at South Island Secondary School Champs - 17 years ago to this day!! At Aorangi Stadium.
If I look back at where I have come from to the person I have worked and fought tirelessly to become.... I am a little proud of myself. allbeit still a work in progress....
I have always found it really hard to give myself credit for any achievement I have received....if it was not done perfectly or if other people could do it better then in my mind it wasn't a good enough achievement.
It's not until we get older and we understand the reasons and drive behind why we do certain things. For me, focusing on winning in my sport gave me a purpose to stay on this earth. Without it I would not be here. It gave me the affirmation that I was 'ok-enough' to live. Crossing those finish lines in first place helped me to feel a little more significant in a world where I had no significance or control over. A world that was so scary, I couldn't afford to take a breath. I never even knew until I was 30 years of age that I hadn't breathed a full and relaxed breath deep into my belly... EVER. I remember when Celia Kennedy (my Wellness Consultant) taught me how to breathe and connect to myself for the first time. It was now safe.
My sport allowed me to breathe for a few moments before the next pursuit began. Those few moments of breath were what I lived for. That oxygen would sustain me until the next event where I could come above water again and just be 'ok' in my own skin.
I thank the God that graced me with my athletic ability because it saved my life. It also allowed me to express my creativity through strength and speed and introspection. And it has allowed me to follow my passions and intuitive curiosity of healing myself and therefore helping to heal and inspire others.
The wisdom deep within my cells could tell a thousand stories....